Exploring the impact that childhood abuse had on me, through the lens of a newly diagnosed autistic woman.
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and a newly diagnosed autistic woman, my project centres around revisiting my childhood experiences through a new lens. As well as highlighting the impact that my experiences and autism has on me in the present.
My work takes a raw approach to documenting my life. From returning to the primary school that facilitated my abuse, to the multiple meltdowns induced by life on the spectrum. My photographs portray the darker side of my life. Autism and sexual abuse are frighteningly intertwined, due to the vulnerability of growing up different and more naïve. My shower photographs are an example of the entanglement of both aspects, the never-ending feeling of dirtiness from both trauma and sensory issues, makes showering compulsive for me. My shower video communicates the visceral nature of this through the imagery of continual scrubbing of my skin, until it becomes red and raw.
Articulating my experiences through my art is an important part of processing difficult feelings, giving me a voice while working through my trauma. My project aims to open up the conversation surrounding both autism, sexual abuse and the link between them, in hopes of lessening the pervasive stigmas.